I am NOOOOOOOOOO Julia Child!

You know what my first thought to that statement is, even as much as I LOVE to cook? 

THANK YOU, LORD! 

I have ZERO interest in spending 22 hours on preparing a meal that has the name 'duck' in it.  However, I come from a Syrian, Italian, German, and just LOVERS OF FOOD background and therefore, LOVE (like seriously, LOVE) cooking and the joy that food brings to others.  My entire life it has been the center of all celebrations, milestones, and even hardships.  No matter the occasion in the Deep family, the question is always the same...

"What are we going to eat?"

I leaned on this celebration and happiness for so long it led me to an unhealthy obsession with food.  I spent every waking moment thinking about what I/we would eat next.  I always loved planning to eat, shopping to eat, preparing to eat, waking up early to get ready to eat, cooking to eat, and well, of course...

eating to eat.  This is where the problem came in. 

I associated LOVE with FOOD.

BIG. MISTAKE.

I am not going to expand on that 30 year heavel, but, I am however, grateful.

GRATEFUL that finally I understand the joy, blessing, and honor there is in serving others through food.

That's what I believe my family, my ancestors, were trying to teach us...and consequently, me.  All the love that goes into serving others through meals, whether your own family or others, DOES matter.  It is the obsession of overeating that was not intended.  Or the obsession with being the "perfect" size or the "ideal" weight that our country dwells in, constantly.

*Disclaimer:  I cannot type one more word with giving credit to the most confident, humble, beautiful, vulnerable, yet faithful woman I know...Brandee Shafer.  She inspires me.  More than I have words to express.  If you think I am kidding...Smooth Stones...click and change your belief in Him.  I promise you will become addicted to her God Driven words...

Anyway...Food was used as far back as the Bible to bring people, followers together.  I know, whatever your religion, you have at least, heard of the story of the fishes and loaves of bread. 

And...Everyone I know, either HAS, or knows someone who HAS, a picture of The Last Supper in their home.  At the very least, almost everyone that I know has heard of it.  Supper.  Sup.  Sharing in "bread" together in a celebratory or mournful manner.  Can you imagine a day that was more "SUP" than The Last Supper?

I can't.  So, why would it not make sense that we would model that...in our own lives?

So, the last years, especially the last 22 months, have taught me that I do not have to give up my heritage... I simply need to embrace it...and remember who I am...in Him.  HE made me with this drive, this past, this gift, for a reason.  And I refuse to ignore it any longer.  I simply can't. 

I am finally, just embracing it.

Here it where the Brandee part comes in...

Her blog is not just to share her faith or her life...but to document...log..her life, her past, and her immense love for her immediate family....her three beautiful..and maybe future...children.

And I think that is beautiful.

So, I am a teensy, weensy, itty witty, bit, copying that idea.

I have thought of it for a while.  Ever since I watched the movie Julie vs. Julia.   I loved to cook. God made me this way.  It is HOW I show love.  I was taught this.  Every. Single. Sunday. of my life.  By Grandma Deep.  And this alone, makes me refuse to give this up, but, rather, embrace it, semi-obsess about it, and to continue to "Just Do It". 

It..being..cooking and sharing...and loving through the  breaking of bread.  For, as torterous as the last, almost, two yeears has been, I am continuning to focus on the gifts...blessings...I have taken from each baby step of healing.

I finally realized I can love others by cooking...and still live a healthy life.  He made me to do such.

So I am going to blog my favorite recipes...by either me, my family, my friends, or just my general SO FREAKING YUMMY category...with pictures and recipes included.

Why?

You CAN cook delicious foods, be healthy, AND eat in moderation.

I swear.  We all can.

And I just want to share that joy.

But...the more important point...God made you JUST how you are.  YOU. HOW YOU ARE.

This is not a free ticket to eat 4,000 calories a day.  But it is your pass to eat normally and "grow," as the years do.  Spend MUCH MUCH MUCH less time worrying about the extra pounds and MORE MORE MORE time loving extra on the ones He blessed your live with.

She taught me that, too.

She, being that Brandee Shafee again.

Seriously, you must get to know her....http://brandeeshafer.blogspot.com/ even if through her words only...

We had dinner.(spent time together-both in brokeness and honesty-over food...ahemmm)  We supped.

And I spent moments talking about the torture I felt and the disappointment I had in myself and my weight "issues".  Brandee said, "Oh, I never worry about that."  I was stunned.  She assured me that we all had issues...just different ones...but, still I remember asking, praying, begging Him that night that I might, someday, be able to accept myself, ME, the way He had designed me to be.

No matter the weight.

And He did. 

Let me be CRITICALLY clear...I do NOT believe God made me BE SICK.  But, I do believe He utilized that opportunity, because I begged Him to, to teach me this lesson...this peace...that I had been asking for all these years: That what is on the inside really, truly does matter so much more...

If you could hear my content sigh right now...

S.I.G.H.

So, for my heritage's sake, for my sake, but mostly for Austin Ryan and Chloe Sue's sakes, I shall blog "Kelley with an E's Delicases".

I just made that title up. 

Hmmm... Like, I first stated, I am NO Julia Child, but it sounds good to me (I liked Julie better in the movie anyway).

Thanks, Brandee.  Thanks, God. 

The blessings are too many to count.