Uphill Today, but still PROUD to be a Mom...and an American

I can feel it coming on like one can feel a cold sore tingling the day before.

Sometimes I can catch it, like applying that expensive $22 ointment, and sometimes, despite all my extreme and tireless efforts, I cannot.

Today was one of those days.

Nothing would stay in. 

I will leave it at that, for the description of my "bad days" is not anything that anyone wants to read about.

I cried, as I drove home....with my son beside me....just saying, "It'll be okay, Mom."

Here is this almost 12 year old, who sometimes is so much wiser than me in his youthful innocence. 

As I shook my head, "You are My Healer" came on the radio.  I took in each word like it was a prayer and I saw my sweet boy out of my peripheral...doing the same thing.

So, the song ended...and it took all the strength I had, but I drove the last 20 minutes home...basking in valuable time and conversation with my boy.

The conversation is too private to share, but when I asked him if he was okay his reply was simply, "Ya, Mom.  It is what it is and there is nothing I can do about it."

Told you. 

He, sometimes, is so much smarter than me.  I wish I could just accept certain things like that and move forward.

I was in pain.  I was heaving, puking, aching, etc.....but Oh, I was so proud to be a mom.

A mom who doesn't hide the truth from her son and pretend that everything is okay all the time.  A mom who talks to him about how to handle conflict and still love that person.  A mom, that through the support, love, help, and guidance of so many and the daily strength of her God, that is so proud to have a pretty, incredibly, awesome son named Austin.

And, I do not care what political stance or religious beliefs one has, today IS a day to be proud to be an American. 

Not necessarily proud that we killed someone....but proud of all of our service people, our President, and many others, that tirelessly worked to sustain our freedom.

Proud to see the flag wave, the citizens cheer, and the families, who lost loved ones because of this man's hate, feel love in the support of the Americans around them.

I hope, pray, plead, and beg that tomorrow I get to have a "downhill" day....

But either way, I will remain a proud mom and a proud American.